Open Discussion: What is happiness?

Obviously happiness is a state of mind (that is, brain chemistry).  It can be induced by electrical current and by various chemicals in the blood stream.  But that isn't really the answer that the question sought to elicit.

People do all sorts of things to be happy.  Lots of those things have to do with satisfying biological needs (breathing, eating, sex, relief of pain, etc.) but some are more subtle, "acquired tastes," if you like.  These are things we have learned to do to make ourselves feel good.

For me there are several activities that I have learned will give me great pleasure.

1) Learning new ideas (concepts, ways of looking at things).

2) Coaching youth sports.  I really love it when they do what I suggest (they don't work for me, I am just there to help) and it gives them success.

3) Helping other people.  Little things (allowing some waiting car into traffic, holding a door for someone whose arms are full) or big things all feel good to me.

4) Having people read my book "Invisible Hand" which I think may just save humanity from destruction (there are quite a few threats that are well known).  The complete book is freely available at www.nopom.info to read or listen to (MP3).

It's great that you know that about yourself, Larry. Would you say you get more happiness from these learned activities you mention than you do from satisfying your biological needs?

Most definitely.  Sure eating is usually fun but the socializing during lunch is far more pleasant than eating the food.  The greatest joys in my life have been helping others succeed.

A whole two comments? Are people just not happy?

Check out this June 2009 article from The Atlantic about the study. It was the first time in 74 years a journalist could get his hands on it! Joshua Wolf Shenk, who wrote the article, and Barry Schwartz, a professor at Swarthmore College, were Kerri's guests this morning.

Joshua Shenk's bio.

Barry Schwartz's bio.

Happiness is tator tots and boxed wine ... reading my own novels (hee hee HA) and naps and sex and dreams at night where I fly.  Happiness is a walk on a nice day to the co-op and seeing flower gardens along the way.  Happiness is old horror movies.  Happiness is staying far away from family.

happiness is life, breathing in all that is around you and being thankful for it all.

Happiness is knowing how much I have to be thankful for. 

Happiness is spending time with my grandkids and knowing they enjoy being with me.

Bruce Barton wrote, "Happiness consists of looking foward to something".  I believe that as long as we look forward to another day, be thankful for another blessings, and do what we can to bring joy to another, happiness is US.

Thanks, Mary! Everyone, check out Mary's Gather article Six Steps to a Happiness.

Happiness for me is a sit-back.  Happiness is loving the Luvly Laura, Luvly Dotter and Son-o-Mine.  Happiness is bike rides and swimming with grandkids, grilling burgers, steaks and veggies and kickin' back with a Scotch (single malt) and conversation.  Happiness is knowing I wrote something from which someone got joy or chills, or from which they learned something.  Happiness is knowing I could be dead... but I'm not.  Happiness at 67 is being able to do pretty much what I'd like to (except for having to work), and seeing the green side of the grass when the sun comes up.  Happiness is... the art of being happy.

Wow, thanks for the comments everyone! I've got some catching up to do...give me a minute...

Peter--Staying away from family? Really? Here's to hoping you're the only one in your family on Gather ;)

Vivian--Artfully said, simple, I like it. Way to get at the essence. What makes you happy?

Mary--I know well the happiness that comes with spending time with grandparents. Sounds like you're an awesome grandma! What do you and the grandkids like to do?

Chuck--Way to live life on your own terms. More power to ya--I wish more people were like that. Your comment also sounds very summery, making me excited for the next couple of months! "Happiness is... the art of being happy." Great quote. What do you mean more specifically?

Let's keep discussing!

I mean that you have to be happy without reservation when the chance comes.  I get angry, sad, and all the other stuff, but I don't hang onto any of it.  I take 'happy' where I find it, for as long as it lasts.  That's the art of being happy.

well I said it al in my article, happiness is a state of mind, it is untangible, things don't makes us happy or sad, attitude does, a person can be dirt poor and be the happiest person in the world, another can be rich and the most depressed person in the world, friends and family certainly help but they cannot make us happy, we must have that feeling within us, they can please us that is true but happiness is a state of being, more than being pleased, people can be pleased with their family and friends yet still be unhappy.  Happiness simply cannot be measured based on things, or circumstances.

If a person is determined to be unhappy they will be regardless of what is happeing in their life, and if a person is determined to be happy they will be as well.

Well said, Carol. "Happiness is a state of mind" and everything else like social status and circumstance are secondary. That's very important to remember--thanks for pointing it out!

In the early part of one's existence, happiness is about getting, or about building your own future prospects, fulfilling your own desires. After the halfway point (and that describes my age by the way) happiness should be about giving, about making others happy, and about building the sustainability, justice, and joy of human societies and the natural systems of our planet.

Happyness I think is one's state of connectedness, and self-worth. Hunans need and want to belong, and so we form societal institutions like family, sports organizations, professional associations, and the like. Sure this is how we keep our social structure running smoothly, so happyness is also a sense of order in our life.

How we are connected and what we are connected to will depend on the individual; some find religion, others an activity, and who doesn't enjoy the presence of good friends, or a supportive mate.

We surround ourselves with things that we find pleasure in. It is very difficult when one is affected by an illness like depression, which places an enormous barrier to achieving happyness. But even for the depressed, happyness is no different, and nothing special that is significantly and inherrantly different from the healthy person. It all goes back to a sense of connectedness, self-worth, and order.

Welcome to the conversation, Carol, Chris, and Antonio.

Chris--interesting point you make about happiness being about oneself until the halfway point, when it is replaced by a need to help others. I won't argue that as a college student I don't enjoy things that solely benefit me and make me happy, but I also do spend quite a bit of time volunteering.

Antonio--your point about happiness relating to our "connectedness" to one another reminds me a lot of my school counselor in high school, and he was a very wise, very spiritual and in-tune, very happy man. Interesting point that you make about order in one's life (I kind of read as sticking to the status quo) bringing happiness. So surprises, then, don't make us happy?

Here's a question for everyone--Maybe you've already kind of answered this, but if this is what makes us all happy, are we able to predict when, then, we will be happy?

Eliza- hmm, agreed perhaps that "halfway" bit is overstated. Some people learn to serve the greater good while still children. Others think about nobody but #1 on their deathbed.

Hmm Antonio's thing gives me the thought of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? Self-actualization being the highest human need. But of course you have to be well fed first before you can appreciate that need and worry about fulfilling it.

Interesting point you make, Chris! I see your reference to the pyramid depicting the hierarchy of needs, with more phsyiological needs at the bottom (like food, sleep, water), and the top associated with needs of self-actualization (like creativity, morality, acceptance). Very astute connection you make. Your last sentence, of course, made me chuckle as I believe was the intention--was that disclaimer that higher forms of happiness are not possible without lower forms not said a bit "tongue-in-cheek", or am I imagining things?

Happiness is liking oneself and finding serenity and contentment.  It is even better when one has a few close friends and/or a partner with whom to share. One can be "happy" alone.

yes Eliza- in the USA we tend to think about self actualization. In Zimbabwe, one thinks about living beyond age 35, eating the next meal, and avoiding HIV. Happiness is simpler in places of utter poverty and pervasive brutality.

Well said and important to remember, Chris. Let's keep this discussion going!